so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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