Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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