she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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