I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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