dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
