A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize