spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
