How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
