Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
