Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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