Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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