Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
