when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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