ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
