Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
