Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
