He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Randomize
