Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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