I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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