This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
