The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
