You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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