omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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