FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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