There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
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we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
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It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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