Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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