so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
