I forgot how hot balto sounded
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You pole danced in your parka.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
