She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
