i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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