I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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