Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
