So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
