have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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