i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
