watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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