You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Randomize
