Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
