I can text with my tongue
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
