I got chris browned last night
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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