Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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