But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
