Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
