I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Girls should come with a carfax report
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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