It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
