Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
this will be a night to untag.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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