he thought i was a dude.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
