don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
