Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
