Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I didn't notice because vodka
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
