let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I stole a fireplace last night.
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Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.