Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.