Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.