I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My feet surprised me