yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"