Don't you send me to vm
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
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i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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