Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Can Purell be used as lube?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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