now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
