do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
