Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I checked into jail on foursquare
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
