TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's never too late to be topless.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You're a waste of cheezeits
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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