Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife

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  (812): If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife http://tfl.nu/4wdu
  Replies (2) Good night (837) Bad night (957)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...

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  (208): this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer... http://tfl.nu/pqdq
  Replies (16) Good night (1162) Bad night (3244)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night

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  (214): My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night http://tfl.nu/co3c
  Replies (32) Good night (5702) Bad night (2667)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.

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  (248): Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll. http://tfl.nu/4l0s
  Replies (14) Good night (5402) Bad night (806)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.

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  (256): Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade. http://tfl.nu/llb7
  Replies (25) Good night (20918) Bad night (1288)
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  (619): View more from California

  Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.

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  (619): Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit. http://tfl.nu/5rch
  Replies (17) Good night (1086) Bad night (3357)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.

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  (304): Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea. http://tfl.nu/ejed
  Replies (6) Good night (2613) Bad night (782)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!

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  (901): You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?! http://tfl.nu/9kiq
  Replies (5) Good night (1273) Bad night (485)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  But break dance skills will only take you so far

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  (551): But break dance skills will only take you so far http://tfl.nu/859m
  Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (372)
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  (310): View more from California

  If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.

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  (310): If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time. http://tfl.nu/wm4g
  Replies (1) Good night (1116) Bad night (401)
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  (530): View more from California

  that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.

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  (530): that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own. http://tfl.nu/8cpw
  Replies (1) Good night (861) Bad night (713)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  I NEED to hang out with you more

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  (630): oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra. (1-630): I NEED to hang out with you more http://tfl.nu/k66v
  Replies (3) Good night (695) Bad night (330)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants

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  (256): I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants http://tfl.nu/gsua
  Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (299)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro

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  (414): I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro http://tfl.nu/l82r
  Replies (7) Good night (457) Bad night (260)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.

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  (423): He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed. http://tfl.nu/exh7
  Replies (1) Good night (258) Bad night (234)

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