Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.

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(630): So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless. http://tfl.nu/sjt0

Replies (2) Good night (1241) Bad night (561)
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(313): View more from Michigan

i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.

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(313): i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small. http://tfl.nu/i072

Replies (47) Good night (4337) Bad night (1066)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low

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(615): Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low http://tfl.nu/4tyo

Replies (24) Good night (3336) Bad night (1425)
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(510): View more from California

im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.

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(510): im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife. http://tfl.nu/itl3

Replies (10) Good night (3751) Bad night (956)
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(954): View more from Florida

like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it

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(954): like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it http://tfl.nu/s684

Replies (21) Good night (1702) Bad night (3177)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?

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(413): She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy? http://tfl.nu/obto

Replies (12) Good night (1454) Bad night (5471)
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(407): View more from Florida

This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.

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(407): This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper. http://tfl.nu/m3p5

Replies (9) Good night (2324) Bad night (1097)
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(361): View more from Texas

I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.

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(361): I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots. http://tfl.nu/podd

Replies (8) Good night (2184) Bad night (995)
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(850): View more from Florida

Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.

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(850): Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either. http://tfl.nu/kaox

Replies (1) Good night (1307) Bad night (1899)
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(+61): View more from Australia

We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.

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(+61): We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away. http://tfl.nu/e1yg

Replies (10) Good night (2361) Bad night (751)
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(914): View more from New York

at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.

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(914): at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock. http://tfl.nu/0hid

Replies (9) Good night (1673) Bad night (654)
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(281): View more from Texas

Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.

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(281): Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me. http://tfl.nu/lutc

Replies (11) Good night (579) Bad night (1629)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.

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(717): i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America. http://tfl.nu/5o5p

Replies (4) Good night (714) Bad night (298)
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(520): View more from Arizona

That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.

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(520): That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you. http://tfl.nu/jnah

Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (292)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.

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(770): Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair. http://tfl.nu/it6g

Replies (3) Good night (355) Bad night (478)

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