ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
