Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I'm not sure what to say to that.

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  (614): I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC. (1-614): I'm not sure what to say to that. http://tfl.nu/ot0k
  Replies (29) Good night (755) Bad night (2672)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?

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  (248): Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML? http://tfl.nu/ajh1
  Replies (106) Good night (23119) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....

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  (513): CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now.... http://tfl.nu/m585
  Replies (36) Good night (926) Bad night (2865)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?

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  (301): do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning? http://tfl.nu/rfsi
  Replies (55) Good night (4900) Bad night (544)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.

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  (706): the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not. http://tfl.nu/av9b
  Replies (10) Good night (5565) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.

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  (630): you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid. http://tfl.nu/ndn7
  Replies (5) Good night (5805) Bad night (1731)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..

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  (203): Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied.. http://tfl.nu/zapu
  Replies (6) Good night (3842) Bad night (821)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.

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  (228): He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him. http://tfl.nu/emw6
  Replies (10) Good night (1242) Bad night (2845)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.

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  (317): Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy. http://tfl.nu/mg1s
  Replies (14) Good night (1248) Bad night (2747)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?

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  (530): Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river? http://tfl.nu/gd5u
  Replies (14) Good night (1728) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you

  (831): View more from California

  He's CUTE. and foreign

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  (415): Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you (831): He's CUTE. and foreign http://tfl.nu/untm
  Replies (2) Good night (1140) Bad night (432)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.

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  (843): Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance. http://tfl.nu/j1w6
  Replies (12) Good night (1030) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk

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  (908): if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk http://tfl.nu/13sw
  Replies (2) Good night (910) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  Celebratory bar crawl?

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  (704): Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends. (1-704): Celebratory bar crawl? http://tfl.nu/s5bh
  Replies (1) Good night (1124) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it

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  (508): Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it http://tfl.nu/qcg9
  Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (440)

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