Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She bit a glass in half.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.