ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Send help, water and tortillas.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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