the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
