A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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